shedding skin and
I’ve been picking
My old muscles
Looking for a clue.
I’ve been crawling on my belly
Clearing out what could’ve been.
I’ve been wallowing in my own confused
And insecure delusions
For a piece to cross me over
Or a word to guide me in.
I wanna feel the changes coming down.
I wanna know what I’ve been hiding in”[46&2, written by Maynard James Keenan]
How far back do we have to trace our own self-destructive habits before we see the things which have collectively created our “shadow”?
I suppose to answer this question I should define what the shadow is..
“In Jungian psychology, the shadow or “shadow aspect” is a part of the unconscious mind consisting of repressed weaknesses, shortcomings, and instincts. It is one of the three most recognizable archetypes, the others being the anima and animus and the persona. “Everyone carries a shadow,” Jung wrote, “and the less it is embodied in the individual’s conscious life, the blacker and denser it is.” It may be (in part) one’s link to more primitive animal instincts, which are superseded during early childhood by the conscious mind.”[Wikipedia]
In my previous note I wrote about the lower ego and the higher ego, the base surivial-oriented animal mind and the mirror of the spirit. Between these two there is another layer known as the shadow. This part of the mind operates at a subconscious level, we do not directly recognize it in itself but yet it influences the lower ego to act on everyday situations by situations from the past.
When we analyze the patterns in our lives and our behavior, emotions, etc, we should question ourselves. Why do I feel this way about this thing, why does this scenario/concept make me feel this way, etc. When we start to gain insight to these questions we will inshaallah trace them back and realize the events that placed these behaviors/emotions in us and we will start to identify the shadow, which will in turn create a bridge between our conscious and subconscious self.
I listened to a talk tonight about “removing the mask”. This mask is the persona, the front we create as a result of our survival-oriented ego’s reaction to the input from our shadow. When we identify and resolve these events and create this bridge the mask starts to fall away and the true self comes out.
This true self, I believe, is what is referred to in the Hadith “He who knows himself knows his Lord”. Can any of us go back in time before all the things which formed our shadow took place? Each of us are born innocent, with a Fitra, an essence of our Creator. This is the part of us that causes our search for God and causes us to ask where we came from and what we are doing here. The world causes us to cover this essence, and unless we take this journey inward we will never find it and never know the answer to these questions.
Who was I before I internalized my experiences in the world? Can I return to that original state of clarity? Are the mind, soul, and spirit all linked together?
This is, in essence, the whole point of Jungian psychology, individuation-the self-realization through which we truly become whole beings. When we realize and re-integrate or sublimate the disowned and repressed parts of our psyche we return to that original state of wholeness through knowledge of self. This is also, coincidentally, the same quest of the Gnostic or ‘Arif-to purify the self and find God as a result.
“We shall show them our signs within the furthest horizons and inside their own souls until it becomes clear to them that God is Truth.” [Qur’an 41:53]
Every once in a while, by His will, Allah gives us a glimpse behind “The veil”. This “veil” is really just the product of our complete inability to comprehend Allah as He is. Sometimes it seems these come as a result of fasting and endless prayer, dhikr, etc. Other times it seems they just come, but in any case all success is from Allah Subhana wa Ta’ala.
I had one of these moments earlier, on my way home from Amscot. Pondering over the fact that the bank had to hold my money until tomorrow morning and I can’t afford to do laundry today I found myself correcting my poor attitude. The thing is, I told myself, this life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it..it’s all perception. At least I have money in the bank, and was able to take out enough to pay the rent, and at least I have clothes to wash. At this point my attitude improved immediately. I know, you might be thinking,”This is it? This is his epiphany?” No..but this is the thought process that lead to the epiphany.
Pondering on the power of perception I realized that that’s all there is, perception and Allah. We don’t live in this world as it is. The world is separate from our perception of it, yet all we know is our perception so as far as practicality is concerned the world “as is” for all intensive purposes does not actually exist. We change everything in this world with our perception, and so 10 people could look at the same object or situation and come away with 10 different understandings and experiences. Reality is subjective. Think back to Aristotle’s Theory of Forms, or the Buddha’s statement that the world is as we think it to be.
As for Allah Al Azim, He is completely above and outside of our perception. He is independent of it. This is why He is Al Haqq, The Reality. In fact, He is the ONLY Reality. He is unchanged, He is Himself regardless of how we perceive Him, or whether we even perceive Him in the first place.
Even we ourselves change according to our perception, so how can we be any more real than our thoughts and emotions and mental constructs? Allah SWT exists outside of concepts and constructs, we could never explain Him in such a way as to fit our mind because our mind is subjective and relative, and Allah SWT is completely unlike anything.
Allah is the one thing we cannot affect or change with our perception, whatsoever. If anyone thinks they have an understanding of the Almighty other than what He is in the way He has revealed Himself, indeed they would be lost. He is only one as He is, our mind does not change Him. And yet, that being said, if Allah sees to it to change us we are altogether powerless to resist Him. If we are in ignorance and Allah wills it that we should come to know Him, it is so and no one or nothing can change or stop it. Similarly, if He wills us to be astray we have no hope but Him to save us from our ignorance.
This is what brings me to a deeper understanding of Tawhid, the Oneness and Unity of Allah Al Zawajal. It could almost be said that with all of our changing attitudes, emotions and concepts, times the billions of people in the world today, there are just as many universes as perceptions, if we indeed see each perception as a different world. However, regardless of how many perceptions and dimensions our mind leads us into, Allah SWT is One. He does not change or divide for the sake of our perception. His vastness is such that He is beyond all of our states of being and understanding.
Even with this note, no one will read this and come away with the same understanding. Even the same person could read this and each time probably come away with something new, depending on their perception at that time. Allah is One, Allah is the Real, either we understand it or we don’t. Our perception will not change that, and that’s why when one develops a relationship with Allah it could never be put into words. Words, concepts and images reduce the true nature of a thing. Perception takes something out of its nature and brings it into a world of form and duality, and therefore it is a knowledge of the heart (qalb), not of the mind.
This is why Islam rejects images and idols, because a concept or image of God is not The Reality, The Reality transcends all of these.
72:2 “It shows the way to Enlightenment, so we have come to believe in it. And we shall never again ascribe a partner unto our Lord.”
May this note benefit you, inshallah. May we all gain knowledge and hidayah, and may our striving and the Rahmah of Allah Subhana wa Ta’ala join us among the righteous and admit us to Paradise. Ameen.
How can I describe the color of light to a blind man? The eyes improving slightly, some run recklessly to the reflection on the glass, slapping the exterior like moths burning to feel the warmth. The light itself so far hidden within the center of the flame, we seek and yet settle for what is seen only by the eyes. The heart can see what the eyes cannot, empty yourself and see life for the first time.
My true name is Nothing, my enemy tells me otherwise. Depriving myself with hunger is the only true food, My body starves to nourish the spirit. Two loves cannot live in the same heart, I am shamed by my infidelity. Striving to lower my gaze, I am taken with an ocean of forms that are other than my Beloved. Every moment I steal leads me further away, further and further until I am imprisoned by I and Me.
I spread out my mat, in hopes that my Love will notice my longing, acknowledging my calls with a moment of forgetfulness. Forgetfulness of everything I know, everything I hold to be “real”. There is only one Reality. May I follow my namesake, and destroy the idols within my soul.
A great talk by Sheikh Hisham Kibbani of the Naqshbandi Sufi order. MashaAllah.
The Alchemy of Happiness
By Imam Muhammad Al-Ghazali
Translated by Claud Field (d.1941)
First published in 1910
KNOW, O beloved, that man was not created in jest or at random, but marvellously made and for some great end. Although he is not from everlasting, yet he lives for ever; and though his body is mean and earthly, yet his spirit is lofty and divine. When in the crucible of abstinence he is purged from carnal passions he attains to the highest, and in place of being a slave to lust and anger becomes endued with angelic qualities. Attaining that state, he finds his heaven in the contemplation of Eternal Beauty, and no longer in fleshly delights.
The spiritual alchemy which operates this change in him, like that which transmutes base metals into gold, is not easily discovered, nor to be found in the house of every old woman. It is to explain that alchemy and its methods of operation that the author has undertaken this work, which he has entitled, The Alchemy of Happiness.
Now the treasuries of God, in which this alchemy is to be sought, are the hearts of the prophets, and he who seeks it elsewhere will be disappointed and bankrupt on the day of judgment when he hears the word, “We have lifted the veil from off thee, and thy sight today is keen.”
God has sent on earth a hundred and twenty-four thousand prophets to teach men the prescription of this alchemy, and how to purify their hearts from baser qualities in the crucible of abstinence. This alchemy may be briefly described as turning away from the world to God, and its constituents are four:
The knowledge of self.
The knowledge of God.
The knowledge of this world as it really is.
The knowledge of the next world as it really is.
We shall now proceed to expound these four constituents in order.
CHAPTER I – THE KNOWLEDGE OF SELF
KNOWLEDGE of self is the key to the knowledge of God, according to the saying: “He who knows himself knows God,” and, as it is written in the Qur’an, “We will show them Our signs in the world and in themselves, that the truth may be manifest to them.”
Now nothing is nearer to thee than thyself, and if thou knowest not thyself how canst thou know anything else?
If thou sayest “I know myself,” meaning thy outward shape, body, face, limbs, and so forth, such knowledge can never be a key to the knowledge of God. Nor, if thy knowledge as to that which is within only extends so far, that when thou art hungry thou eatest, and when thou art angry thou attackest someone, wilt thou progress any further in this path, for the beasts are thy partners in this. But real self-knowledge consists in knowing the following things: What art thou in thyself, and from whence hast thou come? Whither art thou going, and for what purpose hast thou come to tarry here awhile, and in what does thy real happiness and misery consist?
Some of thy attributes are those of animals, some of devils, and some of angels, and thou hast to find out to which of these attributes are accidental and which essential. Till thou knowest this, thou canst not find out where thy real happiness lies. The occupation of animals is eating, sleeping, and fighting; therefore, if thou art an animal, busy thyself in these things. Devils are busy in stirring up mischief, and in guile and deceit; if thou belongest to them, do their work. Angels contemplate the beauty of God, and are entirely free from animal qualities, if thou art of angelic nature, then strive towards thine origin, that thou mayest know and contemplate the Most High, and be delivered from the thraldom of lust and anger.
Thou shouldest also discover why thou hast been created with these two animal instincts: whether that they should subdue and lead thee captive, or whether that thou shouldest subdue them, and, in thy upward progress, make of one thy steed and of the other thy weapon.
The first step to self-knowledge is to know that thou art composed of an outward shape, called the body, and an inward entity called the heart, or soul. By “heart” I do not mean the piece of flesh situated in the left of our bodies, but that which uses all the other faculties as its instruments and servants. In truth it does not belong to the visible world, but to the invisible, and has come into this world as a traveller visits a foreign country for the sake of merchandise, and will presently return to its native land. It is the knowledge of this entity and its attributes which is the key to the knowledge of God.
Some idea of the reality of the heart. or spirit, may be obtained by a man closing his eyes and forgetting everything around except his individuality. He will thus also obtain a glimpse of the unending nature of that individuality. Too close inquiry, however, into the essence of spirit is forbidden by the Law. In the Qur’an it is written: “They will question thee concerning the spirit. Say: ‘The Spirit comes by the command of my Lord’.” Thus much is known of it that it is an indivisible essence belonging to the world of decrees, and that it is not from everlasting, but created.
An exact philosophical knowledge of the spirit is not a necessary preliminary to walking in the path of religion, but comes rather as the result of self-discipline and perseverance in that path, as it is said in the Qur’an: “Those who strive in Our way, verily We will guide them to the right paths.” For the carrying on of this spiritual warfare by which the knowledge of oneself and of God is to be obtained, the body may be figured as a kingdom, the soul as its king, and the different senses and faculties as constituting an army.
Reason may be called the vizier, or prime minister, passion the revenue-collector, and anger the police-officer. Under the guise of collecting revenue, passion is continually prone to plunder on its own account, while resentment is always inclined to harshness and extreme severity. Both of these the revenue-collector and the police-officer, have to be kept in due subordination to the king, but not killed or excelled, as they have their own proper functions to fulfil. But if passion and resentment master reason, the ruin of the soul infallibly ensues.
A soul which allows its lower faculties to dominate the higher is as one who should hand over an angel to the power of a dog or a believer to the tyranny of an unbeliever. The cultivation of demonic, animal or angelic qualities results in the production of corresponding characters, which in the Day of Judgment will be manifested in visible shapes, the sensual appearing as swine, the ferocious as dogs and wolves, and the pure as angels.
The aim of moral discipline is to purify the heart from the rust of passion and resentment, till, like a clear mirror, it reflects the light of God. Someone may here object, “But if man has been created with animal and demonic qualities as well as angelic, how are we to know that the latter constitute his real essence, while the former are merely accidental and transitory?” To this I answer that the essence of each creature is to be sought in that which is highest in it and peculiar to it. Thus the horse and the ass (donkey) are both burden-bearing animals, but the superiority of the horse to the ass consists in its being adapted for use in battle. If it fails in this, it becomes degraded to the rank of burden-bearing animals.
Similarly with man: the highest faculty in him is reason, which fits him for the contemplation of God. If this predominates in him, when he dies, he leaves behind him all tendencies to passion and resentment, and becomes capable of association with angels. As regards his mere animal qualities, man is inferior to many animals, but reason makes him superior to them, as it is written in the Qur’an: “To man We have subjected all things in the earth.” But if his lower tendencies have triumphed, after death he will ever be looking towards the earth and longing for earthly delights.
Now the rational soul in man abounds in marvels, both of knowledge and power. By means of it he masters arts and sciences, can pass in a flash from earth to heaven and back again, can map out the skies and measure the distances between the stars. By it also he can draw the fish from the sea and the birds from the air, and can subdue to his service animals like the elephant, the camel, and the horse. His five senses are like five doors opening on the external world; but, more wonderful than this, his heart has a window which opens on the unseen world of spirits.
In the state of sleep, when the avenues of the senses are closed, this window is opened and man receives impressions from the unseen world and sometimes fore-shadowings of the future. His heart is then like a mirror which reflects what is pictured in the Tablet of Fate (Al Lawh Al Mahfuz). But, even in sleep, thoughts of worldly things dull this mirror, so that the impression it receives are not clear. After death, however, such thoughts vanish and things are seen in their naked reality, and the saying in the Qur’an is fulfilled: “We have stripped the veil from off thee and thy sight today is keen.”
This opening of a window in the heart towards the unseen also takes place in conditions approaching those of prophetic inspiration, when intuitions spring up in the mind unconveyed through any sense-channel. The more a man purifies himself from fleshly lusts and concentrates his mind on God, the more conscious will he be of such intuitions. Those who are not conscious of them have no right to deny their reality. Nor are such intuitions confined only to those of prophetic rank. Just as iron, by sufficient polishing can be made into a mirror, so any mind by due discipline can be rendered receptive of such impressions.
It was at this truth the Prophet hinted when he said, “Every child is born with a natural predisposition towards Islam; then his parents make a Jew, or a Christian, or a Zoroastrian of him.” Every human being has in the depths of his consciousness heard the question “Am I not your Lord?” and answered “Yes” to it. But some hearts are like mirrors so befouled with rust and dirt that they give no clear reflections, while those of the prophets and saints, though they are men “of like passions with us” are extremely sensitive to all Divine impressions.
Nor is it only by reason of knowledge acquired and intuitive that the soul of man holds the first rank among created things, but also by reason of power. Just as angels preside over the elements, so does the soul rule the members of the body. Those souls which attain a special degree of power not only rule their own body but those of others also. If they wish a sick man to recover he recovers, or a person in health to fall ill he becomes ill, or if they desire the presence of a person he comes to them (by Allah’s Will). According as the effects produced by these powerful souls are good or bad they are termed miracles or sorceries.
These souls differ from common folk in three ways:
(1) What others only see in dreams they see in their waking moments.
(2) While others’ wills only affect their own bodies, these, by will-power, can move bodies extraneous to themselves.
(3) The knowledge which others acquire by laborious learning comes to them by intuition.
These three, of course, are not the only marks which differentiate them from common people, but the only ones that come within our cognisance. Just as no one knows the real nature of God but God Himself, so no one knows the real nature of a prophet but a prophet. Nor is this to be wondered at, as in everyday matters we see that it is impossible to explain the charm of poetry to one whose ear is insusceptible of cadence and rhythm, or the glories of colour to one who is stone-blind.
Besides mere incapacity, there are other hindrances to the attainment of spiritual truth. One of these is externally acquired knowledge. To use a figure, the heart may be represented as a well, and the five senses as five streams which are continually conveying water to it. In order to find out the real contents of the heart these streams must be stopped for a time, at any rate, and the refuse they have brought with them must be cleared out of the well. In other words, if we are to arrive at pure spiritual truth, we must put away, for the time knowledge which has been acquired by external processes and which too often hardens into dogmatic prejudice.
A mistake of an opposite kind is made by shallow people who, echoing some phrases which they have caught from teachers of tasawwuf, go about decrying all knowledge. This is as if a person who was not an adept in alchemy were to go about saying, “Alchemy is better than gold,” and were to refuse gold when it was offered to him. Alchemy is better than gold, but real alchemists are very rare, and so are real Sufis. He who has a mere smattering of Tasawwuf is not superior to a learned man, any more than he who has tried a few experiments in alchemy has ground for despising a rich man.
Anyone who will look into the matter will see that happiness is necessarily linked with the knowledge of God. Each faculty of ours delights in that for which it was created: lust delights in accomplishing desire, anger in taking vengeance, the eye in seeing beautiful objects, and the ear in hearing harmonious sounds. The highest function of the soul of man is the perception of truth; in this accordingly it finds its special delight. Even in trifling matters, such as learning chess, this holds good, and the higher the subject matter of the knowledge obtained the greater the delight. A man would be pleased at being admitted into the confidence of a prime minister, but how much more if the king makes an intimate of him and discloses state secrets to him!
An astronomer who, by his knowledge, can map the stars and describe their courses, derives more pleasure from his knowledge than the chess player from his. Seeing, then, that nothing is higher than God, how great must be the delight which springs from the true knowledge of Him!
A person in whom the desire for this knowledge has disappeared is like one who has lost his appetite for healthy food, or who prefers feeding on clay to eating bread. All bodily appetites perish at death with the organs they use, but the soul dies not, and retains whatever knowledge of God it possesses; nay increases it. An important part of our knowledge of God arises from the study and contemplation of our own bodies, which reveal to us the power, wisdom, and love of the Creator. His power, in that from a mere drop He has built up the wonderful frame of man; His wisdom is revealed in its intricacies and the mutual adaptability of its parts; and His love is shown by His not only supplying such organs as are absolutely necessary for existence, as the liver, the heart, and the brain, but those which are not absolutely necessary, as the hand, the foot, the tongue, and the eye. To these He has added, as ornaments, the blackness of the hair, the redness of lips, and the curve of the eyebrows.
Man has been truly termed a “microcosm,” or little world in himself and the structure of his body should be studied not only by those who wish to become doctors, but by those who wish to attain to a more intimate knowledge of God, just as close study of the niceties and shades of language in a great poem reveals to us more and more of the genius of its author.
But, when all is said, the knowledge of the soul plays a more important part in leading to the knowledge of God than the knowledge of our body and the functions. The body may be compared to a steed and the soul to its rider; the body was created for the soul, the soul for the body. If a man knows not his own soul, which is the nearest thing to him, what is the use of his claiming to know others? It is as if a beggar who has not the wherewithal for a meal should claim to be able to feed a town.
In this chapter we have attempted, in some degree, to expound the greatness of man’s soul. He who neglects it and suffers its capacities to rust or to degenerate must necessarily be the loser in this world and the next. The true greatness of man lies in his capacity for eternal progress, otherwise in this temporal sphere he is the weakest of all things, being subject to hunger, thirst, heat, cold, and sorrow. Those things he takes most delight in are often the most injurious to him, and those things which benefit him are not to be obtained without toil and trouble.
As to his intellect, a slight disarrangement of matter in his brain is sufficient to destroy or madden him; as to his power, the sting of a wasp is sufficient to rob him of ease and sleep; as to his temper, he is upset by the loss of a sixpence; as to his beauty, he is little more than nauseous matter covered with a fair skin. Without frequent washing he becomes utterly repulsive and disgraceful.
In truth, man in this world is extremely weak and contemptible; it is only in the next that he will be of value, if by means of the “alchemy of happiness” he rises from the rank of beasts to that of angels. Otherwise his condition will be worse than the brutes, which perish and turn to dust. It is necessary for him, at the same time that he is conscious of his superiority as the climax of created things, to learn to know also his helplessness, as that too is one of the keys to the knowledge of God.